Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
