At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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