I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
