Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize