They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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