Its about making memories worth repressing
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
