I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just had sex on a roof
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
