Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
