The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize