so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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