I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
