You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
