After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
