someone owes me an orgasm
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
