It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
