it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
