I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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