I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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