Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
