Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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