u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
