Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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