I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
