he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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