Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
