Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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