and she was petting her beer can
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
