i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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