we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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