We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
