The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
