I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
