Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize