people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
