remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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