So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's blow job season.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
