we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
