can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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