I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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