I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
