U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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