Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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