bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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