anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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