he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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