Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
