Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize