All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
