I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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