My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
