I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
