I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
