jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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