He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
