You just made me feel so damn special
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I understand Curling. That high.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize