Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
