Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
