That's when you crack a 10am beer
smell my finger.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
