well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
