R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize