My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
