i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Still dying that you shit outside
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
