he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
home. puking in laundry basket.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
